I feel like I am starting a new phase in life. Here I am at 46 years old (almost 47), finished paying my child support almost a year ago and starting a new career. Is this how life is supposed to work?
When I finished high school in 1986 my fiance’s grandfather helped me get a job at a welding shop in southeast Texas. The pay was pretty bad, but at least I was learning something. From 1986 – 1999 I bounced around various welding shops hoping the pay and benefits would get better, but they never did.
1995 I went to Lamar College in Port Arthur for a degree in computer information systems. Working a full time job, being a parent, being a husband and going to college takes dedication.
1999 – 2000 my life fell apart. I lost my job due to the company making poor decisions. It sure is funny how the CEO make make terrible decisions and everyone else has to pay the price. Then in 2000 my wife of 14 years filed for divorce. In all honesty I was tired of her screaming, fit-throwing and refusing to control her spending. In the long run divorcing her was probably the best thing that happened to me. But it would take years to make progress in my life.
1999 – 2014 were rough years
My ex-wife drug out the divorce court proceedings. What should have only taken 6 – 8 months lasted 2 1/2 years. She fought me on every little thing. There was no compromise, no agreement, nothing but fighting and going to court.
After the divorce was finished the Texas attorney general had to jump in and do a child support review.
In 2005 I landed a job that I stayed at for almost 10 years. It was a comfortable job working in an office, which was a nice change from working in welding shops. The hours were good, no overtime, no night shift, no weekends, nothing but 8 – 5 Monday through Friday.
The bad thing about my last job they did not give raises. Combined with insurance cost going up something like 14% in the past 2 years, and a yearly inflation rate of 3% meant I was losing money.
After almost 10 years of not getting a raise I decided it was time for a change.
My teenage kids were mad at me for various reasons. My 18 year old daughter had not really been a part of my life since she turned 14. My exwife refused to make my daughter get from her boyfriend and come see me. I was not getting my regular visitation with my two youngest kids anyway. So why not find a new job.
2015 is looking up
In December 2014 I started a new job. I am not making any more money than I was at my previous job; at least I am not in an office or working in the welding field.
It feels so good to finally get that child support off my back. If my ex-wife wants money she has to get a job. No more bringing me back to court to see if I got a raise. I am finally free.
After dealing with divorce court and child support laws I understand why so many men never get married or have children. The laws are tilted in an extreme manner in the womans favor. In all honesty men rarely stand a chance in the meat grinder called divorce court of the shackles called child support.
Finally I am no longer a wage slave or cash cow. Not that I made “that” much money anyway, but now I keep what I earn.
I started a new a new career and have a chance for upward mobility. This is something I have been looking forward to for a long time.
Is this how life is supposed to work
I keep asking myself, is this how life is supposed to work? Whatever happened to marrying your high school sweetheart, having kids and just enjoying life? My life has been filled with poor decisions. Everything from marrying the wrong woman, to getting into a line of work that treats its employees like crap. It seems I made poor decision after poor decision.
Or is this how life really works? Maybe I believed a lie that if you work hard good things will come to you?
All this stuff we are told if you work hard good things will come to you is a lie. A lot of it depends on luck and the goodwill of others. I had the unfortunate luck of working for people who did not believe in goodwill. Hopefully that has changed. Maybe I will find an employer who treats its employees like people instead of numbers.