Why Do Fathers Disappear From Households

Washington Times has an interesting article about the relationships of fathers and their children – Fathers disappear from households across America.  Even though the article is well-written, it is full of fluff.  Nowhere did I see the author addressing the root causes of the problem.

Lets narrow the topic down to two points – personal responsibility and criminalization of non-custodial parents.

Personal Responsibility

As an example I am going to use a friend of the family who got knocked up by a guy who already had 4 kids by 4 different women. Lets place the blame where it belongs, on the mothers and the father.

With so many birth control options on the market, why aren’t women protecting themselves from getting knocked up?

Why isn’t the father being more responsible with his seed?

Who is to blame? Both the mother and the father.

Society does not want to point the finger at the mother and ask “why didn’t you protect yourself?”  If the mother willingly spread her legs, or bent over, then she must share half the blame.  Not only should the mother share the blame, but she should also share in the responsibility of raising the child.  That means getting a job and providing health insurance for the child.

Why should society have to pay for irresponsible people?  Instead of telling the mother she has to get a job and support the child (or children), the family is given welfare.

Shouldn’t both parents share the burden of providing for the children?  How is it fair that one parent is forced to pay child support while the other parent can sign up on welfare?

Single mom walks into welfare office, tells the people something like, “I got three kids by three different men, I aint got no job, so give me some food stamps.”  If society held the mother to the same level of responsibility as the father, the mother would either have to get a job and support her children, or go to jail.  But yet we wonder why so many dads walk away?

Personal responsibility should include both parents, and not just one or the other.

Criminalization Of Non-Custodial Parents

I get so sick and tired of having to prove that I have the same rights as my ex-wife. Take my kids to enroll them on school, I have to bring a copy of the divorce decree. I wonder if women have to do the same thing? If a woman enrolls a child in school, do they have to prove they have a legal right to enroll the child?

Non-Custodial Parents are required to pay child support and provide health insurance for the child. But the custodial parent can sit on their ass and not have to do anything.

The last time I went for a review of my child support, there were several fathers that were told they either had to pay money that day, or they would go to jail. The fathers were told they owed $5k, $7k, $20k,,, even $100k on child support.

I did not see a single mother that was told she had to pay or would go to jail.

How is that a fair justice system?

Why aren’t custodial parents held at the same level of responsibility as non-custodial parents?

It is the criminalization of being a non-custodial parent that helps to fathers away.  Divorce is emotionally and financially devastating, so why treat fathers like criminals?

Lets see, either walk away, or be treated like a criminal.